I'm just dreaming
by Piaohara
Summary: ANGST. Heavy spoilers for Kratos Fans. I WARNED you..Depressive. [KratosxAnnaxLloyd] Please R&R.


**AlwaysA „AnnaxKratosxLloyd" Fanfiction**

* * *

I remember. In the deeps of these nights I remember again and again.

It's the only thing that let me still feel.

The memories keep me alive.

Again I hear her voice...

The light of the fireworks dazzled me a bit so that I pressed shortly my eyes together, but couldn't interrupt my concentration for this instant.

The music seemed to come from far away; I just noticed it in the most hidden place from my head, it wasn't present.

The music was already from two, or three kilometres further away; from a city which light twinkled softly in the darkness. The fireworks carried on banging, but the music didn't sound strange of cause this.

In opposite, the musicians – it was classical music, I supposed – seemed to be keen on drown out the fireworks. But everything seemed perfect – Both, she and I were here, far away from the city, alone on this hillock with only one tree on it. It was perfect, easily everything in this moment. My look glided through the countryside during I lead.

One couldn't see far. The night was so dark that even I self had problems to see more than one or two kilometres further. But it didn't bother me.

And I didn't want to see the night, but something else...

_**Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me**_

_**And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free**_

_**I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you**_

_**And at sweet night, you are my own**_

_**Take my hand**_

****

With a smile to myself I looked at the dainty woman I felt so close to my body. She had put her head on my chest and closed her eyes. She seemed to enjoy this instant very – more than me?

When I thought at this I smiled softly and breathe a tender kiss on her mop of hair.

She showed me that she noticed it with cuddling up her head closer to me.

...It was wonderful. Both, she and I, dancing upon this lonely hillock in the light of candles...

It has been my idea. I had discovered this hillock and thought it would be a great present for her... Immediate I gave myself a warning to concentrate my thoughts right on this instant.

"Do you like it?" I quietly asked her and closed my arms straighter around her.

We danced tightly wrapped up to a slow song.

_**We're leaving here tonight**_

_**There's no need to tell anyone**_

_**They'd only hold us down**_

_**So by the morning light**_

_**We'll be half way to anywhere**_

_**Where love is more than just your name**_

****

She seemed to be in the opinion not to disturb these moments with no word and just nodded. But I could exactly see how she pulled a face when the music after this long time stopped.

Finally. I... didn't like dancing very much. I just danced because I knew that she loved it. I smiled to myself when I again looked into her face. But when she looked at me offended I got afraid anyhow.

She was... very lively.

"M-Music is out, isn't it?" I stammered and swallowed. "It's n-not my fault..!"

In the end I got my words muddled and looked to the side. I didn't like her look much. I knew she'd like to do something bad to the musicians, would force them to carry on playing whole the night. But musicians had sometimes a break, even she didn't like it.

And even anywhen... my feet would drop off...

I sighed quietly and she smiled.

"Come." She said softly and went away from me. Then she took my hand and led me under the tree, up on the picnic-blanket.

_**I have dreamt of a place for you and I**_

_**No one knows who we are there**_

_**All I want is to give my life only to you**_

_**I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore**_

_**Let's run away, I'll take you there**_

****

When I sat up on it she linked arms with me straightaway. I looked at her kind of taken aback, but was glad about her approaches. Lightly I smiled.

"What's up?"

I could feel her chests burned. She looked at the ground and blushed.

What was up now?

"N-Nothin'..." she murmured. During she looked on the ground – was the ground so much interesting? – A strand of her hair felt in front of her ear and dangled free.

I leant forward and put my hand in her lap after I took back her strand.

"You have something, haven't you?"

"N-No! It... It's just..." Now she sounded... embarrassed? „I-It's only... You did everything so... great.. It's... so beautiful... Thank you..."  
And when she spoke the last word she kissed me softly.

We didn't notice that the musicians carried on playing.

We had better things to do.

_**We're leaving here tonight**_

_**There's no need to tell anyone**_

_**They'd only hold us down**_

_**So by the morning light**_

_**We'll be half way to anywhere**_

_**Where no one needs a reason**_

****

****

I breathe heavily. Quickly I lean forward, with the elbows on the desk and the hands in my hairs. I scream.

Again and again I shake my head, tell myself ‚_This can't be true'_ and try to betray to myself. It can't be true.

No.

It isn't true. Someone out of there, tell me that it isn't true!

I won't accept it!

_**How can I pretend that I don't see  
What you hide so carelessly?  
I saw her bleed  
You heard me breathe  
And I froze inside myself  
And turned away  
I must be dreaming**_

****

Like so often this night I stay up and wander in the dark. I have everywhere welts, scars from the last night. A big, long scar is on my chest. I ignore this squashing pain and go on walking.

This area is nothing more than a little point of passed incidents.

Incidents, which should never have happened.

_**We all live  
We all die  
That does not begin to justify you**_

****

Even this I ignore. My Steps become faster like my breath. I swallow hard when I arrive at a big flat place. Here was two days ago a house.

A little house, maybe better a hut.

But it accommodated two wonderful humans.

I cross out these thoughts and go on searching.

Here... anywhere... They just have to be...

_**It's not what it seems  
Not what you think  
No I must be dreaming  
It's only in my mind  
Not in real life  
No I must be dreaming**_

****

I get stiffen when I notice that I was close to fall down a precipice. Staggering I stay at the precipice and look empty down to the rushing water.

Why didn't I remember?  
When I protected him, hit her with my blade they had to fall down here –

Quickly I spread my wings and fly down. I sit down on the ground and search everything for. For trails, leftovers.

But there is nothing.

It is, as if they would have never been on this world.

As if everything just would have been a dream.

_**Help you know I've got to tell someone  
Tell them what I know you've done  
I fear you but spoken fears can come true**_

****

****

...I give up.

The first time in my life I give up.

The first time?  
No, my life I gave up long ago.

I don't know anything anymore.

Just, that I finally will fall asleep and never ever wake up again...

I want to dream...

_**Not what it seems  
Not what you think  
I must be dreaming **_

Just in my mind  
Not in real life  
I must be dreaming


End file.
